after a month anything with tits is on the radar
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
