fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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