Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
