If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize
