so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
