I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
