Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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