I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
