Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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