Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
