he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
