But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you š
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dogās dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a āwater bottleā. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
