a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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