I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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