I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
