i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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