I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize