I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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