So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize