He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
