I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You pole danced in your parka.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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