I'm really into asian looking animals
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Randomize
