I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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