I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
