You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize