I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
