Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
