Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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