we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
