I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
