Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
