Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
