stop calling my apartment porn island.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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