Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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