i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
