you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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