I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
