big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
