covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
