I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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