At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
