too bad you live with your parents still
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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