I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
