Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
