Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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