she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He passed out mid-signature
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
