Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
