I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize