i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
