just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
