I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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