Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
