You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
