god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize