It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize