dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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