Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
