Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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