Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
