when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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