Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
