I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
