she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
