I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
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