Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize